CATS and DOGS: The Revenge of Kitty Galore

2010, Warner Brothers

Live action

Rating: PG

Approx. 88 mins.

THE STORY:

With feline criminal mastermind Mr. Tinkles (Sean Hayes) being locked up at the end of the first movie, the scene is set for a new mad-cat. Kitty Galore (Bette Midler) is a freakish hairless cat with a crazy axe to grind and a crazier plan to make humans despise dogs and to punish her fellow felines.
To stem this threat, the Intel HQ canine espionage organization and its cat equivalent, MEOWS, team up for an unprecedented collaboration. The dogs recruit Diggs (James Marsden), a police dog whose inability to follow orders has led to his suspension from the force. Together with Cat (Christina Applegate), a seasoned feline agent, the dogs attempt to locate and stop Kitty. Diggs has to learn to respect and follow orders, as well as to think of the needs of his team above his own personal needs.  

QUESTIONABLE LANGUAGE:

• stupid
• shut up

VIOLENCE:

• shooting, explosions, some perilous situations

TEACHING POINTS:

• Sometimes following instructions is the best and safest way to go

THE UPSHOT:

The 5 year-old in the room had a pretty good time between the laughs, the action and the simplicity of the plot. But it was the adults in the room who reaped the full benefits of the humour. With references to Silence of the Lambs and other purely grown-up pop culture phenomena, the movie really aims to woo the over-18s in the room. And it is pretty successful.
The special effects, plot and pacing are all decent; the voice work is even better. Like so many of these movies, it is not high art; it's not even laden with positive messaging. But it is entertaining. The only problem I had was constantly having to answer the plaintive, unanswerable, "Why are you laughing."    

3.5/5

INSPECTOR GADGET

1999, Walt Disney Productions

Live action

Rating: PG

Approx. 77 mins.

THE STORY:

John Brown (Matthew Broderick) is a security guard with aspirations to become a police officer and truly help people. In an attempt to prove himself and to defend the secret love of his life, Brenda (Joely Fisher), he becomes the victim of a car crash and explosion. To save his life, Brenda, who is a robotic inventor, uses her highly developed robot technology to restore and enhance his physical abilities. Armed with a slew of built-in gadgets, John becomes the first trial robo cop in his town.

John/ Gadget's main mission is to stop the bad guy, Sanford Scolex (Rupert Everett), a charming and wealthy industrialist, who also happens to be a mad thief and murderer. The two do fierce battle, and ultimately Gadget comes out on top, winning the day and the girl.

QUESTIONABLE LANGUAGE: 

• Butt
• Oh my God
• Idiot
• Shut up

VIOLENCE:

• shooting, explosions, car crashes

TEACHING POINTS:

• You can reinvent yourself and emerge from tragedy

THE UPSHOT:

It's a goofy, happy movie with an affable hero who suffers hardships and then finds the strength to achieve vindication. It's a nice-guys-finish-first story and it has Ferris B...Matthew Broderick in it, which makes it all the more endearing.

There are a few laughs, some clever references and the performances are pretty solid. The main feature, however, is action. And lots of it. A bit too much for me (the whole dramatic conceit revolves around the hero ostensibly being killed in a car crash followed by the overkill of an explosion), though the 5 year old in the room never batted an eyelash.  

4/5

THE LITTLE MERMAID II: RETURN TO THE SEA

2000, Walt Disney Pictures

Animation

Rating: G

Approx. 74 mins.

THE STORY:

Ariel (Jodi Benson) is all grown up and has a baby of her own. Although her nemesis, the evil sea witch Ursula, is dead, Ursula's younger sister, Morgana (Pat Carroll), is out to get baby Melody (Tara Strong). In order to keep her safe, Ariel vows never to let her near the sea, or to let her know about her mermaid heritage. Nature trumps nurture, however, and Melody secretly spends every minute she can in the water.
On the eve of her 12th birthday, Melody meets Morgana, who pretends to be kind and promises to reveal the young girl's mysterious connection to the underwater world of Atlantica. When Ariel discovers that her daughter is missing, she transforms herself back into a mermaid to search for her. 
Meanwhile, Morgana has changed Melody into a mermaid, but announces that the transformation is only temporary until the sea witch gets 'her' trident back. Melody unwittingly steals the powerful item from the merman she has no idea is her grandfather, thus giving Morgana ultimate evil power over the sea and its creatures. melody, her friends and her family then battle the witch to regain the trident and banish her far below the sea.      

QUESTIONABLE LANGUAGE:

• loser

VIOLENCE:

• nothing significant

TEACHING POINTS:

• do whatever you can to stop your kids finding out about this movie

THE UPSHOT:

If there's one thing I dislike more than having to sit through an awful Disney movie that I find insulting to my intelligence and gender, it's having to sit through the sequel. This is a completely pointless and exploitative addition to the Disney canon, and the fact that the 5 year-old in the room begged to see it makes my heart ache.

The 5 year-old in the room has been seduced be the mermaid mystique, and just loved watching Ariel and Melody swimming around, long hair floating immaculately in the waves. The only consolations for me are the facts that a) it is pretty short, and b) it is completely forgettable and bound to be replaced in her memory by bigger and better very soon.

I would love to give this 0/5, but that wouldn't be fair given the enjoyment it provided the 5 year-old in the room. All I will say is: Avoid it if you can. Bear it if you can't.

1.5/5

THE LEGO MOVIE

2014, Warner Brothers

Animation

Rating: PG

Approx. 100 mins.

THE STORY:

Emmet (Chris Pratt) is a construction worker Lego piece who does, thinks and builds what he is told to. His greatest skill appears to be following the rules, but this leaves him lonely and completely unmemorable to his coworkers and acquaintances. His safe, anonymous life is turned upside down one day, though, when he discovers a strange non-Lego piece, the Piece of Resistance, which becomes attached to him. Before he knows it, Emmet has been mistaken for The Special, a great Master Builder hero prophesied to save the Lego world from destruction at the hands of the evil Lord Business (Will Ferrell).

It soon becomes apparent that Emmet is no Master Builder, yet he still manages, alongside heroine Wyldstyle/ Lucy (Elizabeth Banks), god-like Vitruvius (Morgan Freeman) and flawed super-hero Batman (Will Arnett) to lead the campaign to save everyone from the dreaded Kragle, a weapon that threatens to paralyze everyone and everything.

While the others are at first disappointed by Emmet and dismissive of his abilities, he proves himself an invaluable member whose out-of-the-box thinking leads the team to victory over Lord Business.

QUESTIONABLE LANGUAGE:

• butt
• hate
• Oh my God
• stupid
• loser

VIOLENCE:

•  lots of shooting, explosions and other action-- but they are Lego pieces

TEACHING POINTS:

• Full of references to the potential that lies within all of us, the power that we all have to break free from the labels and expectations others apply to us
• Have faith in yourself; if you don't believe in yourself no one else will
• Rules are not always black and white: there are times when it's best not to follow rules

THE UPSHOT:

Given my past few experiences with kids' movies at the theatre, I was not expecting much. The promo I saw a few weeks ago just made me think of Robot Chicken and the like, and the whole corporate tie-in left a nasty taste in my mouth. So no one was more shocked and happy than me, when I discovered that I was completely wrong in everything I thought I knew about The Lego Movie. 

One of the issues I have with Lego these days-- aside from the amazingly inflated pricing-- is that it has gone from being a toy that inspired individualism and creativity, to being little more than a puzzle with a single solution. You buy a kit to make one specific object and you follow the proscribed methodology with near religious devotion to replicate instead of create. In the end, you spend more time interacting with the instructions than you do with the toy itself.

This movie deals with this contradiction head on, suggesting that there are different kinds of intelligence and skill, and that there is room for flexibility, mutability, anachronism and contradiction in the world. It's good to have the option of putting together a Master Builder designed Model #60047 Police Station, but it's also good to be able to make a double-decker sofa with obvious design flaws.    

On the negative side, I saw this in 3D, and experienced no benefit for having done so. There are no compelling special effects that justify the extra expense and discomfort. 

I'm not kidding myself that the 5 year-old in the room got all of the positive messaging about being yourself and believing in yourself to realize your potential, but it is so (non-cloyingly) pervasive that I'm sure she got some of it. 

Funny, creative, imaginative, suspenseful, clever. The adults and the 5 year-old in the room easily reached a consensus that this was hugely entertaining.  

4.5/5

A CAT IN PARIS (Une vie de chat)

2010, Folimage

Animation

Rating: PG

Approx. 61 mins.

THE STORY:

Zoe is a young girl living in Paris with her mother (Marcia Gay Harden), nanny (Anjelica Houston) and, most importantly, cat. The death of Zoe's police officer father has left her unable to speak, and her mother-- also a police officer-- obsessed with bringing the criminal responsible, Victor Costa (JB Blanc), to justice.

Little does Zoe know that her cat lives a double life as a literal cat burglar. After slipping out of Zoe's window every night, he joins a burglar named Nico (Steve Blum) in entering houses and disemburdening the residents of their treasures.

While Zoe's mother is busy chasing Nico, Nico discovers that the nanny is actually in cahoots with Costa, and Zoe has been kidnapped. Nico is a thief with a moral compass, and makes it his mission to rescue Zoe. Zoe's mother realizes that Nico is on her side, and the two become unexpected allies in saving Zoe and catching Costa.


QUESTIONABLE LANGUAGE:

• shut up
• idiot
• stupid

VIOLENCE:

• Fair bit of gun play, shooting and threats to kill
• People and animals appear to get crushed and fall off buildings

TEACHING POINTS:

• Nothing significant

THE UPSHOT:

There is a little humour in the form of the bumbling gangsters, but it is a pretty dark, serious movie. There isn't explicit violence per se, but there is plenty of shooting, threatening and implied violence. Despite the title, it's also not very focused on the cat; it is in essence a film noir detective/ gangster movie. 

Despite its brevity, it definitely won't entertain or be accessible to very young kids. The 5 year-old in the room got a bit nervous a couple of times-- particularly when a dog appeared to get hurt-- and didn't understand some of the central conceits. We had to have a conversation about how trauma can lead to physical symptoms such as mutism, and I'm not really sure the point ever got made. 

It's very cool and stylish: Billie Holiday purrs in the background as the Parisian skyline rolls out before you. The poster variations shown in one of the Extras segments are gorgeous, but ultimately that's how the whole movie started to seem to me: stylish, elegant, two-dimensional, lacking in substance.  

2.5/5

THE SHAGGY DOG

2006, Walt Disney Pictures

Live action

Rating: PG

Approx. 98 mins.

THE STORY:

Dave Douglas (Tim Allen) is a high-powered district attorney whose relationship with his family is strained due to his prioritization of work. This is particularly evident in the fact that the animal rights activist he is currently prosecuting is the idol of his teenage daughter Carly (Zena Grey).

When Carly breaks into an evil animal testing facility, she finds and rescues an old English sheepdog which she then brings home. Little does she know, this is no ordinary dog, but one whose blood holds the secret to immortality. When the dog bites Dave, he starts to experience some strange physical and behavioural changes. Within hours, he has completely transformed into an old English sheepdog that his family mistakes for the original rescue dog. 

Dave spends the next little while morphing between dog and human, watching his career and his role within the family crumble. Eventually, he discovers the number of evil goings on at the pharmaceutical company he is inadvertently defending, and enlists the hybrid animals in the lab to help him stop the head of research (Robert Downey Jr.) and make public the company's wrongdoings. When he embraces his dog side, he not only gains a deeper understanding of the animals around him, but also of his family and of their need for him to listen to them. 

QUESTIONABLE LANGUAGE:

• butt
• hate
• Oh my God
• moron

VIOLENCE:

• the animal testing scenes are a bit menacing, including giant needles and a cattle prod
• the bad guy gives a needle (not quite on camera) to another character that sends him into a state of near-vegetation

TEACHING POINTS:

• Could lead to discussions about the pros and cons of animal testing for parents so inclined
• "Just because something seems ridiculous doesn't mean it isn't true. It just means you need more courage to believe it."

THE UPSHOT:

I enjoyed about 8 non-consecutive minutes of this movie. The adults in the room kept asking, "Why do these people do these movies?" (Robert Downey Jr., Jane Curtin). The 5 year-old in the room liked the dog, but got scared during some of the lab scenes. 

One of the major problems I had with The Shaggy Dog is the exact same issue I had with The Santa Clause, Tim Allen's other unsatisfying venture into kids' movies: the protagonist goes through a mind-blowing transformation, and his reaction (as well as that of his family) is about 30 seconds of shock followed by blase acceptance. 

I watched this hot on the heels of Marmaduke, another talking dog movie. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I just didn't believe Tim Allen as a dog as much as I did Owen Wilson. Marmaduke had its failings, but for some reason I completely bought the canine characters. Listening to Tim Allen's rambling soliloquies about the obvious while pretending to be a dog, I never once forgot that I was listening to Tim Allen rambling on about the obvious while pretending to be a dog.    

Also, while this isn't specifically the fault of The Shaggy Dog, I'm getting tired of the 'parent (usually father) works too hard and/ or doesn't listen to his kids' trope that seems to underlie so many kids' movies. Why do movie makers think we are all self-centred ignorers of our kids? How about you guys show some consideration for our kids by making better movies? There is nothing in this film that hasn't been done better elsewhere. Don't waste your time.

1.5/5

MARMADUKE

2010, Twentieth Century Fox

Live action

Rating: PG

Approx. 87 mins.

THE STORY:

Marmaduke the Great Dane (Owen Wilson) is dislodged from his safe routine when his family moves from Kansas to "the O.C." Fairly quickly, he finds a group of friends, sees the pooch of his dreams (Fergie), and is terrorized by her boyfriend Bosco (Kieffer Sutherland), the alpha-male Rottweiler who leads the alpha-purebreds.

Having vowed to use the move as a chance to reinvent himself, Marmaduke, with the help of the family cat (George Lopez), orchestrates a fake demonstration of his toughness. It works, and, turning his back on the mixed-breeds who first befriended him, he becomes the new alpha- male in town. Ultimately, his ruse is discovered and he also manages to annoy his owner so much that he risks losing his place in the family. He finds himself almost homeless and completely friendless.

It takes a near disaster for Marmaduke to realize who his real friends are and who he really loves. Along the same lines, the same potential disaster allows his owner, Phil (Lee Pace) to reawaken his commitment to his family and his love for Marmaduke. Everything ends for the best in the best possible of worlds.   

QUESTIONABLE LANGUAGE:

• Oh my God

VIOLENCE:

• no violence, but a potentially frightening scene when 2 dogs get trapped in the rushing waters of a sewer system

TEACHING POINTS:

• If friends need you to change to like you, they aren't worth calling friends
• Everyone has a right to be

THE UPSHOT:

This movie has got a lot of really really bad reviews, so I was expecting to hate it from irritating start to excruciating finish. And then I didn't. 

Yes, it is unoriginal. Yes, it is full of cliches. But it is pretty funny in parts and the voices are generally good. I think its likability for me is partly thanks to Owen Wilson (of whom I am not a huge fan in general), who just makes Marmaduke so... human. 

It's a very transparent metaphor, but I liked the paralleling of dog clique and school/ social clique. It's easy to extrapolate from the story for some important discussion with younger kids about bullying and fitting in/ being different. 

There is some mild crudeness, but the average 5 year-old could easily put the film to shame. I've wasted 87 minutes on far far worse.

3/5

ICE AGE: THE MELTDOWN

2006, Twentieth Century Fox

Animation

Rating: PG

Approx. 90 mins.

THE STORY:

Manny the mammoth (Ray Romano), Sid the sloth (John Leguizamo) and Diego the sabre tooth tiger (Denis Leary) are back. This time they are faced not with an impending ice age, but with global warming. Manny, who has started to believe that he is the last mammoth left alive, is also troubled by the desire for a family. He strikes it lucky when the trio runs into Ellie (Queen Latifah), a female mammoth. The luck appears to dissipate, however, when it transpires that the 2 can't stand each other. Plus there is the small matter of Ellie, in an amazing feat of mind over matter, being convinced that she is a possum.

Realizing that the warming climate has put them at risk of dying in a flood caused by the melting ocean waters, the trio, accompanied by Ellie and her 2 'brother' possums, head off in search of safer ground. They survive a number of perilous adventures, and, through their experience, Manny and Ellie develop a romantic relationship that ends with Manny starting a new family after all.  

QUESTIONABLE LANGUAGE:

• crap
• stupid
• idiot

VIOLENCE:

•  nothing significant

TEACHING POINTS:

•  give yourself a chance to get to know someone before dismissing them

THE UPSHOT:

There's something about the Ice Age series that just always leaves me with a smile on my face. It's not that the stories are unexpected or unique. The central conceit of each of the 4 movies to date (this is installment 2) is essentially the same: an odd group of prehistoric animals struggling to survive given the changing environment. But the characters and their interplay is just so good that I can't not enjoy an hour and a half with them. 

The makers of this franchise are masters at satisfying the needs of the young 'uns who want to see the movies with the desires of the grown ups who have to watch along. In short, the 5 year-old in the room had a blast, and the adults in the room did a lot of laughing.

4/5

DOGS & CATS

2001, Warner Brothers

Live action

Rating: PG

Approx. 88 mins.

THE STORY:

While we humans go about our self-important lives, an entirely different society exists unbeknownst to us right under our noses: that of dogs and cats. The latter, are represented by Mr Tinkles (Sean Hayes), a crazy, evil feline out to take over the world. The dogs are organized into a sophisticated spy network with the goals of protecting themselves against ninja cats, and protecting Professor Brody (Jeff Goldblum), an inventor trying to create a cure for dog allergies in his basement lab.

When the agent disguised as the family pooch is kidnapped from the Brody home, a replacement is brought in. An unfortunate mix-up, however, results in Lou (Tobey Maguire), a 'civilian' beagle puppy, filling the vacancy. The local senior agent, Butch (Alec Baldwin), helps guide Lou hone his espionage techniques in the hope that he can keep the Brody lab safe from feline interference.

A happy accident results in Lou and his 'boy', Scotty (Alexander Pollock), finding the winning allergy-preventing formula. Mr. Tinkles undertakes a plan, however, to steal the formula and reverse it such that all humans will develop an allergy to dogs. Lou, with some help from his agent friends, rescues his family and the formula from the warped cat and saves the day.

QUESTIONABLE LANGUAGE:

• stupid
• shut up
• imbecile
• idiot

VIOLENCE:

• some pretty violent acts-- shooting, bombs, throwing stars, hand to hand combat, explosions, etc.

TEACHING POINTS:

• heavy message for parents about prioritizing family over work, and the importance of communication
• ask for help when you need it: we can't do everything by ourselves

THE UPSHOT:

This movie is definitely the work of 'dog people', so there is a huge bias against cats. It's all in good fun, though, and just plays on deeply entrenched stereotypes of the 2 species, so probably all but the most die-hard crazy cat la... people will be able to see the humour in the scenario. 

My only real issue is with the violence. Especially because it is live action rather than animation, all the shooting and other potentially life-threatening action is a bit intense. The 5 year-old in the room was OK with it, of course, but the adults in the room did a bit of wincing.

I like the originality of the concept and the execution is solid: good voice work, impressive special effects mingled with kitschily bad effects, decent pacing, good script. Worth a watch.

4/5

ALICE IN WONDERLAND

1951, Walt Disney Productions

Animation

Rating: G

Approx. 74 mins.

THE STORY:

Bored by the dry history lessons her governess intones, young Alice drifts off into a dreamworld where rabbits in waistcoats worry about deadlines, potions shrink or magnify, and doorknobs talk back. She crawls into a rabbit hole and enters a magical world where nothing is as it seems and everything can be any possible way. She meets all kinds of fantastic characters and has a number of unusual experiences before eventually waking up and returning to the security of the predictable world.  

QUESTIONABLE LANGUAGE:

•  none

VIOLENCE:

• baby oysters are tricked into being eaten-- not shown on screen, but obvious 
• the Queen of Hearts repeatedly threatens to behead people, but it never happens

TEACHING POINTS:

• None: Lewis Carroll was a firm believer that kids got enough moralizing elsewhere, and wanted to produce sheer entertainment. Disney seems to have carried this through.

THE UPSHOT:

It's quite surreal and lacks a coherent narrative, which is a tribute to how close it attempts to stay to the original text. But this also might make it a bit inaccessible to younger kids. The 5 year-old in the room responded to the safe absurdity: nothing really dangerous happens, it's all just a fantastic dream. The grown-ups in the room appreciated the retro-cool and the potential for mindlessness. 

4/5