JOHNNY ENGLISH REBORN

2011, Universal Pictures

Live action

Rating: PG

Approx. 100 mins.

THE STORY:

After being disgraced on a job in Africa, Johnny English spends years in intense spiritual and martial arts training in the Himalayas. He eventually returns to his post at MI-7, where he is called upon to protect the Premier of China and himself from the mysterious Vortex organization.

Johnny begins to unravel the mystery of who is involved, but cannot admit to himself who the MI-7 mole is. Eventually, he comes to his senses, roots out the mole and saves the Premier. 

QUESTIONABLE LANGUAGE:

• ass
• damn
• some sexual innuendo

VIOLENCE:

• characters are shot with bullets and darts
• no gore

TEACHING POINTS:

• Uh... no

THE UPSHOT:

Rowan Atkinson is the consummate jerk/idiot who, despite his overwhelming lack of appeal, manages to win us over. He is an amazing physical comedian who is never afraid to look ridiculous if it will get a laugh. 

Or so I thought.

Watching this made me wonder whether Atkinson might be going through a bit of a mid-life crisis which has led him to want to appear heroic. There are points at which he is hilarious as a wannabe suave agent who comes across more as an accident prone buffoon. But most of the time he is altogether too cool.

I also found it odd that Gillian Anderson spent so much of the film leaning over desks and the like, demonstrating some very sophisticated cleavage. Two steps forward: woman in position of supreme authority. One step back: she has to be more sexy than authoritarian. 

Both the 7 year-old in the room and the grown ups were disappointed. Glimmers of goodness that just don't glow.   

3/5

JOHNNY ENGLISH

2003, Universal Pictures/ Studio Canal

Live action

Rating: PG

Approx. 88 mins.

THE STORY:

When all of the real agents in British spy organization MI-7 are killed in an explosion, the only one left to protect the country from a maniacal billionaire bent on taking the throne of England for himself (John Malkovitch) is well-meaning but accident prone Johnny English (Rowan Atkinson). He tries to be suave and clever, but typically just ends up causing problems for himself and all around him. Somehow, however, he manages to outsmart the bad guy, save face for MI-7, and defend his country.

QUESTIONABLE LANGUAGE:

• bastard
• hell
• bugger
• damn
• stupid
• shut up
• ass

VIOLENCE:

• There is shooting and references to people being killed, but nothing on camera-- plus so much silliness that any scariness/ violence is erased

TEACHING POINTS:

• nothing significant

THE UPSHOT:

The grown ups in the room loved this as much as the 7 year-old in the room did. And what made a nice change was that we enjoyed it for much the same reasons. Rowan Atkinson is brilliant as usual, and his physicality is amazing. He does a great job of making us laugh at and sympathize with Johnny English.

John Malkovitch is also great as a stereotypical Bond-type villain-- quirky, crazy, suave and ultimately outsmarted. 

Funny and smart. A hilarious treat.

4/5

The PINK PANTHER 2

2009, MGM

Live action

Rating: PG

Approx. 91 mins.

THE STORY:

Bumbling inspector Jacques Clouseau (Steve Martin) bumbles his way victoriously through another mystery. The Pink Panther diamond which he rescued in the first installment of the movie series is again stolen, and Clouseau must find the diamond and the master thief, the Tornado, who has presumably taken it. He gets a spot on the Dream Team, a group of international detectives charged with finding the gem, then loses their respect and the public's credibility through his apparent bungling of the case. 

Mixed in with this action is a love story, as Clouseau attempts to hide his feelings for his assistant Nicole (Emily Mortimer), while also trying to stop her falling for the suave Italian Dream Team detective (Andy Garcia). Ultimately, however, he solves the crime, wins the girl and returns to his position of honour.

QUESTIONABLE LANGUAGE:

• damn it
• ass
• stupid
• idiot

VIOLENCE:

• nothing significant

TEACHING POINTS:

• have the courage of your convictions
• if you don't tell people how you feel, they won't know

THE UPSHOT:

Was it awful? No. Was it great? No. It was OK. Great character actors (Lily Tomlin, Alfred Molina, John Cleese, etc.) and potential for humour, but it's just a bit lazy and not as funny as the first one. Some scenes were humorous, but both the 7 year-old and the grown ups in the room were much quieter through this one. 

There is also far more sexual innuendo, which probably flies above the heads of younger kids, but savvy youngsters will get that something is up. I get the feeling the film is trying to be all things to all people, but it doesn't manage to tread the line very well, and just ends up being too immature for adults and too adult for kids.

Disappointing, but still better than a lot of other things I've had to sit through. 


3/5

The PINK PANTHER

2006, 20th Century Fox

Live action

Rating: PG

Approx. 92 mins.

THE STORY:

When the coach of the French soccer team is murdered and his giant pink diamond (the Pink Panther) stolen, bumbling, accident-prone police detective Inspector Clouseau (Steve Martin) is brought in on a huge case. rather than expecting him to solve the case, however, the scheming Chief Inspector (Kevin Kline) hopes that Clouseau's ridiculous antics will be a distraction to the public and press as he himself solves the case and claims the Medal of Honour that has eluded him for so long.

Clouseau has many hilarious adventures and misadventures in his quest to solve the crimes, but ultimately prevails by getting both the crook and the girl.  

QUESTIONABLE LANGUAGE:

• damn
• stupid
• shut up

VIOLENCE:

• nothing significant

TEACHING POINTS:

• nothing significant unless you count You can't judge a book by its cover

THE UPSHOT:

After the success of Mr. Bean with the 7 year-old in the room, we thought we should try more films along the same lines. This led us, naturally, to Inspector Clouseau. The reviews I saw were not inspiring, but both the 7 year-old and the adults in the room laughed repeatedly at the sheer silliness. Is the story original and unexpected? No. Are the characters deep and multifaceted? No. Is Steve Martin's accent consistent and convincing? Absolutely not. But is it funny? Is it worth 92 minutes of your time? Yes. 

4/5

The PEANUTS MOVIE

2015, 20th Century Fox

Animation

Rating: G

Approx. 88 mins.

THE STORY:

Affable, artless Charlie Brown is busy trying to survive the daily travails of life with the Peanuts gang, when along comes the new girl in school: the little red-haired girl of his dreams. His general awkwardness skyrockets as he tries to appear like a winner in her eyes.

The drama escalates when his test paper is confused with another student's and he is mistaken for a genius. Suddenly everything he does is just and clever in other's eyes, and for a brief time he enjoys his new reputation. But he soon realizes the error and is faced with a moral dilemma: stay quiet and bask in the praise, or be honest and risk losing the respect of his friends and the love of the little red-haired girl.    

QUESTIONABLE LANGUAGE:

none

VIOLENCE:

none

TEACHING POINTS:

• honesty is not easy, but is the only way to live with integrity
• others' opinions of you are not as important as your own

THE UPSHOT:

This modern adaptation remains amazingly loyal to the original in all possible respects-- script, story, visuals, characters, you name it. So if you grew up watching the Peanuts gang, the almost palpable nostalgia alone will endear you to this film. I did not, so it did not.

That said, I did enjoy The Peanuts Movie quite a bit. The dialogue is clever and tight, and there is some gentle but consistent humour; but I couldn't help thinking that a lot was lost on the 7-year-old in the room. My biggest criticism, though, would be that the entire story is laid out in the first 10 to 15 minutes, and it then feels like a very long journey toward the ultimate resolution.  

If the film made me wax nostalgic, it would be a 4. But, as it didn't, it's a ...

3/5

MR. BEAN'S HOLIDAY

2007, Universal/ Studio Canal

Live action

Rating: G

Approx. 91 mins.

THE STORY:

Mr. Bean wins a trip to the beaches of Cannes, but the journey proves far more trying than it should be. In typical Bean style, he encounters-- and mostly causes-- havoc at every turn, culminating in the unwitting abduction of a young boy.

The pair exhaust every possible means of getting to Cannes, one motivated by the desire to see his father, the other by his desire to see the beach. After a series of (mis)adventures, they become involved with a young starlet who eventually helps them reach Cannes and solve all of their problems.

QUESTIONABLE LANGUAGE:

• damn
• idiot

VIOLENCE:

• none

TEACHING POINTS:

• If I had to find something beyond simply 'it's funny', it would probably be that people can surprise you with their changes of heart 

THE UPSHOT:

This was an instant hit with the seven-year old and the adults in the room. We all started laughing from about minute 1, and there were plenty more opportunities as the movie went on. It's the kind of film about which you'll find yourself reminding others (a la 'remember the scene in the restaurant when he eats the shellfish?') before you all fall into gentle smiles and laughter.

One of the definite highlights of the film-- aside from Rowan Atkinson's amazing talent for physical and facial humour-- is Willem Defoe's performance as a pretentious actor/ director. Fabulous.  

The film operates on a very simple premise with a very uncomplicated plot. The humour is typically visual and obvious. The film also has very little dialogue, which makes it highly accessible even for younger kids. This is something everyone in the room can enjoy. 

4.5/5

CASTLE in the SKY

1986, Studio Ghibli

Animation

Rating: PG

Approx. 125 mins.

THE STORY:

Pazu, a young orphan boy (James Van Der Beek), discovers a young girl floating down to earth, and befriends her. He learns that the girl, Sheeta (Anna Paquin), is a member of the royal line of the mysterious floating world of Laputa. Pazu's father was ridiculed for claiming to have seen this floating land, resulting in his death and Pazu's lasting obsession with flying machines. 

Pazu helps Sheeta escape the pirates-- who become allies-- and government agents who are trying to catch her and get control of her magical crystal necklace. Their journey takes them to a lost world destroyed by injustice and human fallibility, where they learn a lesson about the dangers of power and the thirst for it. 

QUESTIONABLE LANGUAGE:

• nothing significant

VIOLENCE:

• Gun battles/ shooting
• Anti-hero is killed when a structure collapses on him

TEACHING POINTS:

• Respect for the natural world
• The nature of power/ authority and who deserves authority
• People can change when they take the time to get to know others and their situations

THE UPSHOT:

It's a pretty complex story with a lot of characters and some situations that are only explained after the fact. That made for a lot of, "Who's that guy... Why is he doing that... Are they on the same team?" "I don't know... I don't know... I don't know," type exchanges. It also has that distinctive dubbed feel, which is particularly unpleasant when characters laugh. But this didn't bother the 7-year-old in the room at all. Only the grown ups cringed. Repeatedly.

Another source of discomfort for me was the overt implication of romantic attachment the adult male pirates express for the young, pre-pubescent heroine. This is not an element in the original Japanese, and I have no idea why Disney felt it was appropriate to add for a North American audience. Awkward and icky. 

In a lot of respects it's typical Miyazaki Hayao-- dead parents, flying machines, blurring of intended audience age, high drama and suspicious relationships. I can't say I enjoyed it as much as some others, such as Kiki's Delivery Service (as a kid flick) or The Wind Rises (as a grown up flick), but it is intelligent and original.  

Definitely not for younger kids, but a fun adventure for boys and girls alike. 

3/5