HERBIE RIDES AGAIN

1974, Walt Disney Productions

Live action

Rating: G

Approx. 89 mins.

THE STORY:

Amiable, naive Willoughby Whitfield (Ken Berry), fresh out of law school, appears at the office of his uncle Alonzo (Keenan Wynn) in hopes of a job. What Willoughby doesn't realize is that Alonzo Hawk is one of the most greedy, ruthless real estate developers in the world. Kind-hearted Willoughby is exactly the person Alonzo needs to help his bulldozing plans by forcing an elderly woman (Helen Hayes) out of her house. What he doesn't count on is her spirited, protective granddaughter, Nicole (Stephanie Powers), and her (literally) self-possessed car, Herbie.

Between the three of them, the women and car manage to convert Willoughby to their way of thinking. Nicole also manages to convince Willoughby of her charms and he is soon smitten. Rather than giving up, Uncle Alonzo takes matters into his own hands, but gets more than he bargained for when he tries to steal Herbie. In the end, Alonzo learns that there is no beating a car with a mind of its own, and the good guys live happily ever after.   

QUESTIONABLE LANGUAGE:

•  none

VIOLENCE:

•  the female lead character expresses displeasure by punching

TEACHING POINTS:

• do what you think is right even if it's scary

THE UPSHOT:

I much preferred this to the first movie in the series (although I did miss Buddy Hackett)-- it just seemed less mean-spirited and more kid-appropriate. It's very old school-- not very sophisticated, plenty of slapstick, simple story line, dated special effects. But therein lies some charm.

My biggest criticism would have to be that Herbie was kind of secondary and definitely underused. 

Once the retro nostalgia had worn off, the adults in the room could take it or leave it. Particularly since the last movie we watched was a bit complex and taxing, the 5 year-old in the room really responded to the easiness of watching Herbie et al. Nothing to infer, nothing to note for future reference, nothing based on background knowledge a youngster doesn't have. It's like visual muzak. 

3/5

THE POLAR EXPRESS (...not)

2004, Castle Rock Entertainment

Animation

Rating: PG

Approx. 100 mins.

THE STORY:

I don't know. The reason for this is that I have been unsuccessful not once, not twice but three times in convincing the 5 year-old in the room to watch even a millisecond of The Polar Express. Maybe it's the dark, muted colours on the case? Maybe it's the unfamiliar style of animation? The 5 year-old in the room cannot or will not explain why.

QUESTIONABLE LANGUAGE:

VIOLENCE:

TEACHING POINTS:

THE UPSHOT:

The upshot is that I cannot say a single word about the movie and probably never will be able to. Oh well.

?/5

ATLANTIS: THE LOST EMPIRE

2001, Walt Disney Pictures

Animation

Rating: PG

Approx. 95 mins.

THE STORY:

It is 1914, and the closest Milo Thatch (Michael J. Fox) has got to following in the footsteps of his Atlantis-obsessed explorer/ archaeologist grandfather is working in the boiler room of a museum. Until he gets fired. Then one day his prayers are answered when an eccentric benefactor who knew his grandfather appears and offers Milo the chance to join a mission in search of Atlantis.

The mission runs into trouble, and more than half of the crew are killed. Milo and his crew-mates continue their under-water journey, and eventually discover the lost land. The civilization has survived, but their culture is in danger of degeneration. The king's daughter, Princess Kida (Cree Summer), enlists Milo to decipher the ancient writings that no one can read any longer.

At the heart of Atlantis is a giant crystal that the people worship like a deity. The power of this crystal is transmitted to crystal pendants the Atlanteans wear around their necks, and this gives them life. 

Milo is shocked when his companions reveal themselves to be mercenaries whose sole intention is to steal the crystal, return to land and sell it. Realizing this will result in the genocide, Milo tries to convince his closest his crew-mates to do the right thing. He succeeds and the result is an all out battle against their former leader, Commander Rourke (James Garner), and the soldiers still under his command.

The battle ends and justice prevails. The crew return to the surface with the exception of Milo, who stays behind to transcribe the ancient Atlantean writings and develop the romantic relationship that has begun between him and Kida. 

QUESTIONABLE LANGUAGE:

• None

VIOLENCE:

• YES! About 150 people die in the first half hour
• Lots of shooting and killing
• Several scenes that could be frightening for younger kids 

TEACHING POINTS:

• Genocide is bad? 

THE UPSHOT:

It has a very masculine feel, kind of like Indiana Jones meets a shoot-'em-up video game. The first half hour and last half hour are full of shooting, killing and dying. It's very sci-fi, which is absolutely not my forte, and the story is quite complex. There are also scenes in which you need to be able to read dialogue, so younger kids will need help or be lost.
The 5 year-old in the room was transfixed by the action, but missed a lot of plot points.

It's a Disney film, so, unfortunately, I have the usual issues. The 2 central female characters are highly, overtly, deliberately sexualized. One actually uses her feminine wiles (and anatomy) to persuade Milo to accompany her. They both spend the entire movie in skin-tight clothes that flatter their Barbie-like physiques, and Kida even strips down to a bikini in another very suggestive scene. 

I actually really disliked this movie to the point that I wished the 5 year-old was not in the room for most of it. There is no positive message that isn't better expressed in other films, and in terms of entertainment value it just seems to anaesthetize you to violence. If, however, you are looking for an action movie for older kids who are very much into war games and/ or science fiction, Atlantis is the film for you.

1.5/5

THE SWAN PRINCESS

1994, Nest Entertainment

Animation

Rating: G

Approx. 90 mins.

THE STORY:

In this retelling of the classic Swan Lake ballet, Princess Odette (Michelle Nicastro) is turned into a swan by the evil enchanter, Rothbart (Jack Palance). Having been banished from the kingdom by King William (Dakin Matthews), Rothbart vows revenge. He exacts it by kidnapping Princess Odette and casting a spell that transforms her into a swan by day. Every night he asks her to marry him, thereby gaining her freedom and giving him the kingdom. 

Odette steadfastly refuses as she has vowed to marry none other than her true love, Prince Derek (Howard McGillin). The two have been intended for each other since childhood and, fortunately, have fallen in love. So, when his love disappears, the prince becomes obsessed with rescuing her from the Great Animal that is said to have taken her.

After some perilous adventures, the 2 lovers are reunited, the spell is broken and the couple live happily ever after.

QUESTIONABLE LANGUAGE:

•  none

VIOLENCE:

• King William and Rothbart are killed
• Danger and threat that could be frightening for younger kids

TEACHING POINTS:

• Nothing that I would have to pry out of it for the sake of having a teaching point 

THE UPSHOT:

It's not Disney, but it ought to be. Visually, thematically, musically, stylistically it falls completely in line with the princess movies. This means that it is absolutely not my thing, but the 5 year-old in the room loved it.

John Cleese and Steven Wright get the few funny lines, and are made good use of. Beyond that, I can't really find much to like about the film. If I were rating this purely based on my impressions, it would get a 2; but as a source of entertainment for ki-- let's face it, girls-- I have to give it a... 

3.5/5

STUART LITTLE 2

2002, Columbia Pictures

Live action & animation

Rating: PG

Approx. 76 mins.

THE STORY:

Stuart Little (Michael J. Fox), by now firmly and happily ensconced as a member of the Little family, runs into an injured bird whom he saves from a falcon and takes home to nurse. Stuart quickly develops feelings for the bird, Margalo (Melanie Griffith), and they seem to be returned. But Margalo is actually the accomplice-- albeit reluctant-- of the evil Falcon (James Woods) who appeared to be stalking her when she first met Stuart. The two con their way into people's lives in order to steal their valuables, and Margalo does exactly this with Mrs. Little's ring.

With the job done, Margalo flies off, leaving Stuart wondering what happened. He assumes she is in trouble and sets off to help her. Along the way he has a number of adventures and manages to escape all kinds of injury with the snarky cat, Snowbell (Nathan Lane), as his companion. He finally finds Margalo and confronts Falcon. Justice prevails, Margalo is freed from her perceived obligation to Falcon, and she follows her dream to fly South for the winter. Stuart is sad to see her go, but knows she will be back.    

QUESTIONABLE LANGUAGE:

•  Poop
• Ass

VIOLENCE:

•  The falcon is verbally and physically threatening, but no actual violence

TEACHING POINTS:

• Look for the silver lining and you will find it
• You're only as small as you feel

THE UPSHOT:

At just over an hour, it's a good length for youngsters, and the story is well paced with action, drama, humour, tension and resolution. The voices and acting are good-- and I am not the biggest Melanie Griffith fan, so that is saying something-- and the art direction leaves you feeling bright and happy.   

Is it art? No. Is it poetry? No. Is it an inoffensive, pleasant, positive bit of entertainment appropriate for younger kids? Yes.

4/5

THE NUT JOB

2014, Gulfstream Pictures

Animation

Rating: PG

Approx. 86 mins.

THE STORY:

Surly (Will Arnett) the squirrel simply cannot fit in with the rules and hierarchy established for his fellow park animals by their leader, Raccoon (Liam Neeson). He is a firm believer in looking out for number 1, both by preference and necessity. After completely dashing the park animals' chances of gathering enough food to keep them through winter, he is banished from the and cast out alone into the perilous city.

Surly, with the aid of his only ally, Buddy the mute mouse, sets out in search of food, and discovers a nut store that promises to fatten him up to his heart's content. Almost immediately he runs into Andie (Katherine Heigl) and Grayson (Brendan Fraser), squirrels on a mission to find food for the park community. Fair and compassionate Andie enters into an agreement with Surly to share the work of breaking into the nut store and split the proceeds.

Unbeknownst to the animals, the nut shop is a front for a mafia-like gang set on robbing the bank next-door. So, while the animals try to break in, the gang are adamant about keeping anyone and anything out. Ultimately, Surly learns that it's not only OK, but necessary to rely on others. The park animals learn not to have blind faith in their leader, and to question facts for themselves. 
  
QUESTIONABLE LANGUAGE:

• Stupid
• Idiot
• Butt

VIOLENCE:

• Guns are fired and used to threaten, but no one is hit
• Kicking and punching, but comedically exaggerated

TEACHING POINTS:

• No man is an island
• Trust has to be earned, but it should also be re-evaluated

THE UPSHOT:

The cons: It felt far too long given the lack of story depth. There's a fair bit of crude humour-- where there is gas, hilarity abounds, it seems. Katherine Heigl.  

The pros: There was some good use of 3D effects in the action scenes. I like the subtext about the advantages of democratic process, and the need to challenge authority and its pronouncements. Maya Rudolph. 

In general, disappointing.
    

3/5

A MONSTER IN PARIS

2011, Europacorp

Animation

Rating: PG

Approx. 90 mins.

THE STORY:

Emile (Jay Harrington) is a projectionist who dreams of making films and of winning the heart of his co-worker, Maud. His timidity is compensated for by the gregariousness of his best friend, Raoul (Adam Goldberg), a delivery man with a penchant for invention. One day, while making a delivery to the house of an absent professor, Raoul accidentally mixes some mysterious potions with disastrous results: a monster is born when a tiny flea is transformed into a giant.

Soon, the residents of Paris are living in fear of the monster they think is out to terrorize them. One person who knows different is Lucille (Vanessa Paradis), a cabaret singer who takes pity on the pathetic figure. She discovers that the creature, whom she names Francoeur (Sean Lennon), is very musical, and he becomes a fixture in her act. Emile and Raoul have realized that their mishap created the 'monster', and recognize Francoeur as their creation. Unfortunately, it is not long before others, including the evil and self-serving commissioner (Danny Huston), do as well. 

Lucille, Emile and Raoul do their best to protect Francoeur from the forces out to destroy him. In the end, the guys get the girls, Francoeur gets to continue making music, and the people of Paris realize that they have nothing to fear from the so-called 'monster'.

QUESTIONABLE LANGUAGE:

• butt
• idiot

VIOLENCE:

• some gun action and shooting, but no one is killed or hit
• one character appears to fall to his death, but shakes it off in the next scene

TEACHING POINTS:

• accept others for who they are, not for what they look like
• don't be afraid of the unfamiliar

THE UPSHOT:

Although the film does buy into the Disney formula in some respects-- the female body aesthetic, the everyone lives happily ever after coupling at the end-- there is a lot to like about this movie. 

Despite the fact that the original voice track is French, the English voices are good and the script does not come across like a forced translation. The messaging is positive and effective, the music is highly listenable, and the pacing is good. The most intelligent, compassionate and proactive character is a woman, who is both independent-minded and talented.

But my favourite thing about this movie without a doubt is the setting and the art direction that renders it so impeccably. The story takes place in Haussmann's Paris not long after the turn of the century, and the animation really captures its magic. We get a real taste of the spirit of the times: the longing for progress, the capacity for innovation and the recognition of the potential in everything. This is one case in which the setting is almost a character in and of itself.

The 5 year-old in the room enjoyed it, but did get upset near the end when Francoeur appears to be killed. There were some tears until the flea reappeared no worse for wear. In the end, all the unpleasantness was forgotten, however. 

4/5

RACING STRIPES

2005, Alcon Entertainment

Live action

Rating: PG

Approx. 102 mins.

THE STORY:

Stripes, a baby zebra, is left behind by a circus caravan in the confusion of a rainstorm. Fortunately, he is rescued by Nolan (Bruce Greenwood), a former horse trainer and his daughter Channing (Hayden Panettiere). He grows up believing himself to be a horse, in a paddock overlooking a race track, and dreams of a career as a thoroughbred. Though teased and dismissed by the neighbouring racehorses, he is shown friendship and support by the motley band of animals inhabiting his farm, most notably a motherly goat (Whoopie Goldberg) and a cranky miniature horse (Dustin Hoffman).

Both Stripes and Channing become obsessed with the idea of racing together, but their plan is complicated by obvious factors-- Stripes has no training and is a zebra-- and more complex issues. Channing's mother died in a horse accident and her father refuses to train another horse or allow Channing to ride. Meanwhile Stripes discovers that he is not a horse and this throws his sense of identity for a loop.

With the help of the humans and animals around him, Stripes rediscovers his passion and confidence. After some training and some underhanded attempts to stop him, Stripes runs in the Kentucky Open, and manages to prove himself. 

QUESTIONABLE LANGUAGE:

• stupid
• idiot
• shut up

VIOLENCE:

• none

TEACHING POINTS:

• judge others for what is inside not outside
• don't let others tell you who or what you can be
• appreciate others for the time and kindnesses they give you

THE UPSHOT:

This is a good example of a movie that has everything going for it, but somehow just doesn't land. The acting and voices are pretty good, the special effects are pretty seamless, the story has potential, and the humour is engaging thanks to flies Buzz and Scuzz (Steve Harvey & David Spade, respectively). 

The main problems are twofold: 1) the central character lacks charisma and the capacity to induce empathy, and 2) the narrative tries to include so many different story elements that nothing really gets sufficiently examined and resolved. In the end, it just seems like a tapeworm: unnecessarily long, unnecessarily flat, and maybe even just plain unnecessary
   

3/5

THE LOVE BUG

1968, Walt Disney Pictures

Live action

Rating: G

Approx. 109 mins.

THE STORY:

Jim (Dean Jones) is an unsuccessful race car driver who thinks he's just a car away from fame-- or at least solvency. Herbie, a Volkswagen Beetle with a mind and driving style of its own, insinuates its way into Jim's life to make itself that car.

With some assistance from an 'enlightened' mechanic friend (Buddy Hackett) and a beautiful love interest (Michelle Lee), Jim and Herbie triumph over those who mock and try to stop them to become racing champions.

QUESTIONABLE LANGUAGE:

• Stupid

VIOLENCE:

• 2 physical fights
• Herbie makes a suicide attempt
• some perilous scenes, but nothing frightening

TEACHING POINTS:

• loyalty to friends
• give others their due
• open-mindedness

THE UPSHOT:

It's pretty much a classic, thanks in large part to a great, original concept. I was disheartened to see, however, that it really isn't as good as I thought when I was 5. 

Some of the content is troublesome based on the film's age-- smoking, sexually suggestive content, references to suicide, depictions of Chinese-Americans. But some of the content is hard to justify in general. The (anti-)hero is pretty unlikable. He's selfish, closed-minded and ungrateful. He has a penchant for resorting to physical violence whenever someone makes him angry. And he doesn't really have a big awakening in the film-- he apologizes to Herbie, but not to the people he mistreats. Somehow, however, it all works out for him and resolves itself with a very predictable ending.

One other issue I had was the fact that Herbie does win the race despite the dirty tricks Jim's main rival pulls, but he does it by cheating. He takes major short cuts during the race that should disqualify him. This never gets any mention in the movie, the implied message being that winning is the ultimate goal and you have to do what you have to do. Not the best message for a kids' movie, I think. 

The movie is longer than it needs to be and the special effects give away its age, but the concept is enough to entertain young kids. The 5 year-old in the room enjoyed Herbie's expressiveness and the slapstick humour. The adults in the room enjoyed the nostalgia and the Buddy Hackett moments.  

2.5/5

SNOW DOGS

2002, Walt Disney Pictures

Live action

Rating: PG

Approx. 99 mins.

THE STORY:

Miami dentist, Ted Brooks (Cuba Gooding Jr.), discovers simultaneously that he is adopted and that his birth mother has just died naming him a beneficiary in her will. He sets off for Alaska to collect his inheritance and try to connect in some way with the woman who gave him up.

When he gets there he is completely out of his depth. His major legacy is a group of prize sled dogs. His major discovery is that his father is the cantankerous town oddball, Thunder Jack (James Coburn). Although his initial instinct is to turn tail as fast as possible, he stays long enough to hear Jack's side of the story and begin a romantic relationship with the beautiful Barb (Joanna Bacalso).

After returning to Miami, Ted discovers that Jack lied to him. He returns to Alaska to confront Jack, only to discover that he has gone missing while competing in the Arctic Challenge dog sled race. Ted sets off to rescue him. In the end, he develops lasting relationships with Barb, Jack, the dogs and Alaska itself.

QUESTIONABLE LANGUAGE:

• Dumb
• Hate
• Stupid

VIOLENCE:

• There are scenes in which Ted faces physical peril, but no violence

TEACHING POINTS:

• Get to know new things and people before you think you know them

THE UPSHOT:

It's a pretty cliched fish out of water story in a lot of ways, but the dogs are cute. The setting was quite unique-- in comparison with the other kids movies we've seen, at any rate-- and the dogs were cute. Plus, the dogs were cute. Essentially, the strengths of the movie can summed up in 4 words: The Dogs Were Cute.

It does bring the idea of adoption to the forefront, but it is presented in a very lackadaisical way: the birth mother is dead, the adoptee is quite secure in who he is and who is parents are. Ted does questions why he is a dentist-- i.e. why he followed in his adoptive father's footsteps, but he comes nowhere close to having an identity crisis. 

The movie also touches on the concept of bi-racialism, which, based on experience to date, seems to be another rarity in kids' movies. The PC-conscious part of me is ambivalent about judging on this front, but I liked the fact that it didn't become a huge issue. Disappointing was the fact that Ted develops an instant mutual attraction to the only other woman of colour in a small Alaskan town.

If you like cute dogs-- especially ones that don't talk-- this is the movie for you. Otherwise... maybe not.

2.5/5

HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS

2000, Universal Pictures

Live action

Rating: PG

Approx. 104 mins.

THE STORY:

The Whos of Whoville are obsessed with Christmas. They lose themselves in a whir of shopping and decorating, devoting all of their attention to the material aspects of the holiday. Confused by this is Cindy Lou (Taylor Momsen), a young Who in search of the true meaning of Christmas. She becomes particularly intrigued by the Grinch (Jim Carrey), a mysterious hermit-like creature who has isolated himself from the Whos and despises Christmas. While the other Whos fear and dislike the Grinch, Cindy Lou tries to win him over and let him share in the happiness the holiday can bring.

While her attempts at first seem successful, the Grinch is soon confronted with memories of the cruel taunting he received from the Whos as a child. He storms off, determined to ruin Christmas for Whoville by stealing all of their presents and decorations. Much to his surprise, however, he discovers that he is capable of feelings and sets out to right the wrongs he has committed.

QUESTIONABLE LANGUAGE:

• stupid
• hate/ despise/ loathe

VIOLENCE:

•  none

TEACHING POINTS:

• Questions the commercialization of Christmas
• The consequences of bullying
• Sometimes we have to have the courage to go against the prevailing wisdom

THE UPSHOT:

I love the way this film confronts the crass commercialism that has been appended to Christmas and questions the true meaning of the holiday in a completely secular way. It raises a lot of good questions for discussion without being preachy.

I also like the fact that there is no absolute good-guy/ bad-guy dynamic. The Grinch is a Grinch, but he has a back-story, reasons, a soft spot in his two-sizes too small heart. In a vicious circle, his meanness encourages others to reject him, which in turn makes him meaner. But, even given his past suffering, he is not presented as a completely sympathetic character with no responsibility for his actions and choices. 

The film stays faithful to the book in story and in spirit, adding contemporary references to engage viewers. Jim Carrey is hilarious, though much of his banter is likely to fly over the heads of the non-adults in the room. The kids will laugh at the over-the-topness of it all and the travails of Max, the dog.

A great holiday tradition that everyone in the room can enjoy.

  

4/5

UNDER THE SEA 3D

2009, Warner Brothers

Live action

Rating: G

Approx. 40 mins.

THE STORY:

A documentary about the life of sea creatures and organisms in various tropical areas narrated by Jim Carrey.   

QUESTIONABLE LANGUAGE:

•  none

VIOLENCE:

•  Larger fish are shown snapping up smaller fish-- enough to make you jump, but not gory

TEACHING POINTS:

• Amazing insights into life under the sea, especially regarding cuttlefish 
• Some environmental messaging about peril to the seas through pollution, etc.

THE UPSHOT:

My first IMAX film, so a real experience more than just a viewing. The visuals are obviously stunning, but make sure to get to the theatre early enough for a good seat. Being on the sides or too close makes things seem distorted and hard to focus on.

The length was a bit disappointing for me-- given the relative expense of the endeavour-- but perfect for the squirmy kids in the room. 

The movie is well-executed overall. The narrative content is good for adults and older kids, and the visuals sustain the interest of younger kids (and adults, alike). A good, educational experience with plenty of novelty value. 

4.5/5

ZOOKEEPER

2011, Columbia Pictures

Live action

Rating: PG

Approx. 101 mins.

THE STORY:

Griffin (Kevin James) is a veteran zookeeper who loves his job and the animals he takes care of, but has little in the way of a personal life. 5 years ago, he proposed to his girlfriend, Stephanie (Leslie Bibb), only to have her reject and demoralize him completely. He never got over the rejection or Stephanie and, when presented with the opportunity to rekindle their relationship, he leaps.

Helping him win his ex's affections are the zoo animals, who it turns out can speak, but usually choose not to in front of humans. Griffin realizes that the price for being with Stephanie is a new life. He leaves the zoo and takes a job selling high-end sports cars in order to meet Stephanie's high expectations.

Griffin soon discovers that his heart is with the zoo and also with Kate (Rosario Dawson), the attractive zoo vet. The zoo animals, especially his close friend Bernie the gorilla (Nick Nolte), help him win back his life and the girl. 

QUESTIONABLE LANGUAGE:

• Stupid
• Idiot
• Shut up
• Moron
• Oh my God
• What the hell
• Freaking 

VIOLENCE:

•  none

TEACHING POINTS:

• Be who you are-- it will make you happy and others will appreciate you for it
• Animals have feelings

THE UPSHOT:

Zookeeper tries to be all things to all people and ends up failing at most. As a romantic comedy it's hackneyed and predictable. As a special effects flick, it's just OK. As a kids' movie it lacks consistent appeal and relatable content. 

The best comedic parts of the movie were aimed at adults and completely inaccessible to the 5 year-old in the room. There were a couple of kid-friendly funny moments related to the animals (Maya Rudolph's giraffe is a particular stand out), but laughs were few and far between. Kevin James does his best, but there really isn't much in the way of script or story to work with.

Surprisingly to me, the worst thing about Zookeeper-- yes, even worse than the cliches and unoriginality-- is the voices. The list of names is impressive: Nick Nolte, Adam Sandler, Maya Rudolph, Jon Favreau, Judd Apatow, etc. And yet, they are without exception excruciating to listen to.

1.5/5