ZOOKEEPER

2011, Columbia Pictures

Live action

Rating: PG

Approx. 101 mins.

THE STORY:

Griffin (Kevin James) is a veteran zookeeper who loves his job and the animals he takes care of, but has little in the way of a personal life. 5 years ago, he proposed to his girlfriend, Stephanie (Leslie Bibb), only to have her reject and demoralize him completely. He never got over the rejection or Stephanie and, when presented with the opportunity to rekindle their relationship, he leaps.

Helping him win his ex's affections are the zoo animals, who it turns out can speak, but usually choose not to in front of humans. Griffin realizes that the price for being with Stephanie is a new life. He leaves the zoo and takes a job selling high-end sports cars in order to meet Stephanie's high expectations.

Griffin soon discovers that his heart is with the zoo and also with Kate (Rosario Dawson), the attractive zoo vet. The zoo animals, especially his close friend Bernie the gorilla (Nick Nolte), help him win back his life and the girl. 

QUESTIONABLE LANGUAGE:

• Stupid
• Idiot
• Shut up
• Moron
• Oh my God
• What the hell
• Freaking 

VIOLENCE:

•  none

TEACHING POINTS:

• Be who you are-- it will make you happy and others will appreciate you for it
• Animals have feelings

THE UPSHOT:

Zookeeper tries to be all things to all people and ends up failing at most. As a romantic comedy it's hackneyed and predictable. As a special effects flick, it's just OK. As a kids' movie it lacks consistent appeal and relatable content. 

The best comedic parts of the movie were aimed at adults and completely inaccessible to the 5 year-old in the room. There were a couple of kid-friendly funny moments related to the animals (Maya Rudolph's giraffe is a particular stand out), but laughs were few and far between. Kevin James does his best, but there really isn't much in the way of script or story to work with.

Surprisingly to me, the worst thing about Zookeeper-- yes, even worse than the cliches and unoriginality-- is the voices. The list of names is impressive: Nick Nolte, Adam Sandler, Maya Rudolph, Jon Favreau, Judd Apatow, etc. And yet, they are without exception excruciating to listen to.

1.5/5