FISHTALES

2007, Arokaria

Live action

Rating: PG

Approx. 94 mins.

THE STORY:

An American visiting professor at Oxford (Billy Zane) goes to Greece with his adolescent daughter, Serena (Amber Savva), to finish his book about love and mysticism in ancient Greece. While there, Serena runs into a mermaid. They become friends and Serena tries to set her up with her father.
But when the professor and the mermaid fall in love under the influence of a love spell, Serena panics. Some irrational stuff happens, some random action occurs... then they all live happily ever after.

QUESTIONABLE LANGUAGE:

• a-hole
• ass
• shut up
• stupid
• could swear I heard someone say 'bitch'

VIOLENCE:

• a woman chops the head off a chicken-- off screen but very very obvious

TEACHING POINTS:

• umm...love is a verb and it takes hard work to keep it going... so not for anyone under 18

THE UPSHOT:

I learned something very valuable from this film: film editors really do matter. Watching this movie, I kept thinking that the disc was skipping and we had missed some key transitional scene. But no; it's just choppy to the point of confusion. I'm going to give everyone associated with the film the benefit of the doubt and assume it is largely a money thing. 

The script is bad. The pacing is awkward. The acting is mediocre. The end is predictable. Greece is beautiful.

1/5